WEBVTT 1 00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:21.700 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Hello, everyone! Welcome back to another crime writers, week session. If you can see and hear me while we are filtering in, go ahead and drop your location in the chat, so we can see where in the world you are joining us from. 2 00:00:22.990 --> 00:00:30.240 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: I see Maryland, North Carolina, Maryland, again, Wyoming, Brooklyn. 3 00:00:32.350 --> 00:00:37.160 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Ontario, Salt Lake City, California, Chicago, Denver. 4 00:00:37.190 --> 00:00:39.110 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: They're coming in quickly now. 5 00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:46.200 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Canada, Wales. As always, we love to see 6 00:00:46.720 --> 00:01:00.979 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: our international audience and folks joining from all over the globe. I'm gonna drop some links in the chat for you here, and I will do that intermittently throughout the session today. If you would like to check out. 7 00:01:01.220 --> 00:01:08.149 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Our speaker carries slides that you can find them at the link provided at the end there. 8 00:01:08.580 --> 00:01:21.580 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: So we're gonna get started in just a moment. But first, st I'm going to go through a few housekeeping notes again. Welcome to our second day of crime writers Week. I'm Michelle with pro writing aid, and we are so happy to have you here. 9 00:01:21.610 --> 00:01:23.749 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: So before we get started 10 00:01:23.770 --> 00:01:51.082 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: accessing replays, we have the replays for you on the Hub page for Monday through Thursdays, replays, if you go to the hub which is linked in the chat and you refresh it. Throughout the day you will see we are adding the replays, slides, and other session materials. As soon as we can get them up there. As soon as they are done processing by zoom, we are able to post them. So keep an eye on that, and you can check out anything you missed or anything you want to watch again. 11 00:01:51.940 --> 00:02:12.739 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: and these replays will also be added to our community page in the event recording section for community members to enjoy. They will all be up uploaded by next Friday, so you can view them there indefinitely. And you can also catch other replays from past writers weeks there. So there's a lot of information in media for you to check out 12 00:02:13.480 --> 00:02:34.340 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: this Friday is premium day. So that is for our premium and premium pro users. If you are a premium or premium pro user. You will get your instructions for premium day in an email on Friday morning. So please watch your email for those instructions, and that will help you access the live events and session materials replays all of that. 13 00:02:34.350 --> 00:02:44.359 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: If you would like to upgrade your account from a free account to premium or premium pro by Friday morning you will also get access to premium days, events. 14 00:02:44.850 --> 00:03:04.340 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: and if you would like to upgrade, we do have a special offer for any attendees this week for 15 off your 1st year of prorating aid premium or premium pro the link to access this discount is on our hub page as well, and you will use a special code. Cw. 2024, and that will 15 00:03:04.340 --> 00:03:30.679 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: allow you to get your discount, and that offer ends on July 6, th if you would like to keep talking crime writing with us, we'd love to have you over in our free writers. Community. It's the link is here, and it's also on the hub you can log in with your prorating aid account information. It's free to join. And there's a lot of great stuff happening there. We have our live event chat. We have the event recordings. You definitely wanna come over and check that out 16 00:03:30.770 --> 00:03:54.529 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: for our session today. If you have a question for our speaker. Please use the QA. Box. We don't want to miss any questions that go through the chat. If you would like to chat with other viewers during the session. Please feel free to do so. You'll just wanna make sure that next to 2 in your chat box you select everyone and not host and panelists, because by default they just come to us. 17 00:03:55.230 --> 00:03:58.810 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: So the it looks like 18 00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:04.470 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: there is a problem with the link for the resources, Carrie. 19 00:04:04.880 --> 00:04:06.580 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: I will check that out. 20 00:04:06.810 --> 00:04:07.460 Kerry Savage: Too. 21 00:04:08.140 --> 00:04:09.859 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Okay, we'll look into that 22 00:04:10.366 --> 00:04:15.720 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: and in the meantime I'm going to introduce our speaker, and we will get the 23 00:04:15.770 --> 00:04:19.440 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: link fixed here hopefully for you in just a moment. 24 00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:21.110 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: and I so I will. 25 00:04:21.110 --> 00:04:28.019 Kerry Savage: Pro mine in the chat. If you want that, I have, I have the web page up, so I know it's live and working. 26 00:04:28.020 --> 00:04:28.829 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Okay with that. 27 00:04:30.420 --> 00:04:32.079 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Yeah, let's try that. 28 00:04:35.630 --> 00:04:36.630 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Okay. 29 00:04:36.790 --> 00:05:05.600 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: so welcome. I am so happy to introduce Carrie Savage, a voracious reader of all kinds of fiction and sometimes memoir and nonfiction. Carrie Savage. She, her is an author, accelerator, certified book coach, who works with novelists from the planning stages through revision helping writers get their best book ready for the world. She is also a J. School grad and former project manager, as well as being hard at work on her 1st novel a work of historical fiction based on the life of a real Badass female pirate. 30 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:18.079 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: She serves as a volunteer mentor for the Women's fiction, writers, association, and sisters in crime. She loves good wine, cheese, and trying to keep her succulents alive. Welcome, Carrie, we're so glad to have you back with us. 31 00:05:18.210 --> 00:05:28.139 Kerry Savage: Thank you so much, Michelle. It is lovely to be back with you and with everybody that I cannot see. But I know you're there. I know you're out there. Let me share my screen 32 00:05:29.020 --> 00:05:30.677 Kerry Savage: so we can 33 00:05:31.250 --> 00:05:33.450 Kerry Savage: get started. Does thumbs up? 34 00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:36.380 Kerry Savage: Yes, no, everybody can. 35 00:05:36.520 --> 00:05:44.149 Kerry Savage: Great, excellent! All right. Well, welcome everybody to this session on crafting mood, using voice tone and setting. 36 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:59.630 Kerry Savage: I, as Michelle said, I'm Carrie. I am an author, accelerator, certified book coach. I'm a writer. I need to update my bio because that pirate book is actually done, and I'm gearing up to query it, which is very exciting and I'm also now working on my little baby book, which is a mystery 37 00:05:59.918 --> 00:06:16.059 Kerry Savage: and there's definitely some crime in there, too. So this was good. Good! I feel very aligned with this crowd here. I'm also the co-founder of shadows and secrets, which is the writing retreat for mystery and thriller authors along with Samantha Skull, who I hope you caught her session yesterday on 38 00:06:16.060 --> 00:06:28.340 Kerry Savage: on twists, because she's a genius about twists and we're very excited to be putting this writing retreat together for mystery and thriller authors. First, st one's happening in September, in Salem, and there are still a few spots left. If anyone's interested. 39 00:06:28.340 --> 00:06:46.159 Kerry Savage: there's a link at the end of the presentation that will send you to the site for more information. But, as Michelle mentioned, I'm also a project manager. I've been reading mysteries and thrillers since I was old enough to check Stephen King and Robert Parker and Pd. James out of the library, and then I wouldn't sleep either, because I was too freaked out 40 00:06:46.538 --> 00:07:04.600 Kerry Savage: by the horror, or because I just was continually turning the pages and trying to get through everything. So I love mystery, thriller and suspense books. I've also been working with Mts. Authors for 4 years, including Sci-fi detective dwar some police procedurals and psychological thrillers. So 41 00:07:04.640 --> 00:07:30.500 Kerry Savage: but let's talk about dive into what we're gonna talk about today, which, as you said, are using voice tone and setting to create mood. So just a quick overview of today's topics, we're gonna start with what mood is and voice and tone and talk a little bit about similarities and differences between them. And then dive specifically into each one of these things. So with voice like authorial voice versus narrator, voice versus character, voice, and how voice is conveyed. 42 00:07:30.520 --> 00:07:37.780 Kerry Savage: Tone, and what influences it, and how we create it, and then setting the elements of setting, and how to build an impactful setting. 43 00:07:37.980 --> 00:07:54.290 Kerry Savage: So there's your high, level overview. And now let's get into the big picture of mood and voice and tone. So when I was 1st putting this presentation together. I was thinking about all of these things, and how they work together, and how they are alike, and that and how they are different. 44 00:07:54.310 --> 00:08:07.790 Kerry Savage: And when I was researching this, too, I found that people in the writing space sometimes define them in ways that either overlapped or sort of assigned attributes of one to another, and so that can make defining them really quite tricky. 45 00:08:07.790 --> 00:08:25.459 Kerry Savage: But it also makes sense in a way, because each one influences the others. So when I was thinking about them and putting this together, it made sense to me to create this Venn diagram that you see to show that very thing that each of these things is distinct, but they all overlap, and they work together in fiction. 46 00:08:25.883 --> 00:08:42.209 Kerry Savage: So if you've ever been confused by any of these terms like how they're used or how they work like, take heart, don't be ashamed. There is controversy out there. You may not agree with everything that I say, and and you may say, Well, this is one thing, and then, you know, there's like rather than another, and that's fine. 47 00:08:42.478 --> 00:08:55.379 Kerry Savage: You're not alone there is. This is an ongoing discussion, but for the purposes of this, and sort of the the most consensus that I could find, and what made the most sense to me is sort of what you're seeing here. So mood, I would say, is this overarching 48 00:08:55.803 --> 00:09:03.700 Kerry Savage: elements and voice and tone really feed into mood. But I think of mood as like the atmosphere. It's sort of the Uber 49 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:12.540 Kerry Savage: element of all of this. And then voice is more of a stylistic kind of thing and tone is the attitude of our of our writing. 50 00:09:13.290 --> 00:09:20.150 Kerry Savage: So, as I just said, like mood is the atmosphere that you're setting for the reader, it can be very heavily influenced by the setting 51 00:09:20.410 --> 00:09:37.930 Kerry Savage: voice is who you are, and when I say who you are, I mean either the character or the author. It's the personality of your narrative. And as we'll discuss, this is something that can be a flot applied on a few different levels. It's relatively consistent throughout, and it reflects an overall style and world view. 52 00:09:38.120 --> 00:09:49.770 Kerry Savage: whereas tone, conversely, is attitude, and because it's attitude, it can change in context. So, for example, you wouldn't write a party scene with the same tone that you would an autopsy scene. 53 00:09:50.256 --> 00:10:07.399 Kerry Savage: And the other thing that all these things have in common is that they're influenced on a micro level by things like word, choice and sentence, structure and sentence, syntax, interiority, and etc. But they all add up to these macro elements that affect how the reader experiences your book, and how they interpret it. 54 00:10:07.820 --> 00:10:15.420 Kerry Savage: So with those kind of teasing those terms apart. Let's do a start doing a deeper dive on each of these things. And we're gonna start with voice. 55 00:10:15.660 --> 00:10:42.970 Kerry Savage: As I mentioned, voice is consistent. It's personality. So you can think about this in the context of you as a person. And while you've surely changed in ways big and small, over the course of your lifetime. There are core facets of your personnel personality that haven't changed, most likely like, whether you're an introvert or an extrovert. If you make quick decisions, or, if you like to sort of ponder things a little bit more, or whether you like to be the person in charge, or you just want to be one of the team. 56 00:10:43.190 --> 00:10:47.410 Kerry Savage: So the same is true of your characters, and this speaks to their voice. 57 00:10:47.560 --> 00:10:57.830 Kerry Savage: But before we dig into more details on that, I want to call attention to the different voices that we're going to be talking about. And that's narrative voice versus the character voice. And then the authorial voice. 58 00:10:58.350 --> 00:11:13.660 Kerry Savage: narrative voice is the voice of the storyteller. Often this is one and the same with the character voice, especially if we're using 1st person point of view or close person close. 3, rd sorry, close. 3rd person. Point of view. So if you're using I that's 1st person 59 00:11:14.070 --> 00:11:18.739 Kerry Savage: I may, or he, she or they is when you're in close. 3, rd right? 60 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:46.200 Kerry Savage: The most common separate separation between these 2 is, if you're using omniscient point of view, omniscient person point of view which is sometimes referred to as like the god voice, right? Because it's the narrator is up here on this level, and then dipping down into other people's, into characters, heads, and then pulling back out again. They can see all they can know, all they make judgments on all of these things. That's why it's called the god voice. 61 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:48.609 Kerry Savage: So that is the most 62 00:11:48.650 --> 00:11:58.689 Kerry Savage: common example of when you would have a separate, separate narrative voice versus being in the voice of the character and authorial voice. Obviously, is you the author. 63 00:11:59.970 --> 00:12:01.310 Kerry Savage: So let's 64 00:12:01.490 --> 00:12:11.856 Kerry Savage: talk about narrator and character voice for this, because this separation is is pretty rare. We're going to talk about them in the same way, and the same rules sort of apply. 65 00:12:12.830 --> 00:12:32.549 Kerry Savage: when we're talking about that, it's the unique way that the characters express themselves. So it's their personality. It's their worldview. It's what they believe about themselves or mis believe about themselves. Cause obviously, misbelief is a big thing when we're writing fiction for our characters. And it's also what they believe or misbelieve about others. 66 00:12:33.067 --> 00:12:44.069 Kerry Savage: The way that they think influences, the decisions that they make, how they interact with others, how they move through the world, and how they react to other people and events throughout the narrative of your story. 67 00:12:44.420 --> 00:12:59.190 Kerry Savage: So remember, then, in the most common points of view, we're in the heads of the characters, right? We're seeing the world through their eyes, and that includes being with them as they observe the world around them as they process what's happening to them and what it means. 68 00:12:59.530 --> 00:13:05.320 Kerry Savage: It also includes all of their opinions on all of it. So think about that. 2 people can agree 69 00:13:05.350 --> 00:13:15.370 Kerry Savage: potentially on a fundamental fact of a thing that happens. But they can also believe, then 2 totally different things about what it means, or they can judge it completely, differently. 70 00:13:15.910 --> 00:13:21.169 Kerry Savage: And so when I say World View, I'm talking about that kind of interpretation 71 00:13:21.190 --> 00:13:25.099 Kerry Savage: like, think about? If your character is an optimist or a pessimist. 72 00:13:25.120 --> 00:13:31.920 Kerry Savage: do they always believe that people are fundamentally good, and that even people who do bad things aren't fundamentally evil. 73 00:13:32.250 --> 00:13:42.860 Kerry Savage: Do they have high expectations, or do they always feel like people are low? Do they feel like everyone always lets them down so they might as well keep those expectations low, so they're not disappointed. 74 00:13:47.090 --> 00:13:51.270 Kerry Savage: So as writers, how do we convey these things to our readers 75 00:13:51.650 --> 00:14:14.019 Kerry Savage: as with everything, it's through the choices we make. So you'll hear me say this a lot through this presentation, I'm sure, because writing is all about choices right? This is the theme throughout. We're always making choices as writers. What words we use, how short or long we want our sentences to be, how our characters talk to each other. All of those things affect each of the elements that we're talking about today. 76 00:14:14.100 --> 00:14:19.719 Kerry Savage: So there's some things to think about when you're thinking specifically about voice and the choices that you're making 77 00:14:20.149 --> 00:14:31.659 Kerry Savage: think about the interiority of your character? Right? What does their inner monologue sound like? How do they think? Do they think, in short, staccato sentences, or do they think in these longer, more descriptive ones? 78 00:14:31.710 --> 00:14:34.060 Kerry Savage: What kind of things catch their attention? 79 00:14:34.190 --> 00:14:39.900 Kerry Savage: Do they make snap decisions? Or do they blurt things out? Or, again, are they sort of more ponderous or thoughtful? 80 00:14:40.140 --> 00:14:45.920 Kerry Savage: What are the things that make their worldview unique. And how exactly do they express those things? 81 00:14:46.497 --> 00:15:06.480 Kerry Savage: Another great way to sort of put out a voice, and you might not necessarily think of it, because it's not voicey. It's not talking but is through movement or body language. Do they have any tells? Do they have any facial expressions or gestures that they use consciously, or even better, unconsciously, to convey what they're thinking or feeling. 82 00:15:06.550 --> 00:15:19.379 Kerry Savage: Are they poker faced, or are they easy to read? I know I have a terrible poker face. That is something about me. So if that ever worked its way into my character, it would be something that, like everyone knows exactly what they're thinking all the time, because it's written all over my face. 83 00:15:21.234 --> 00:15:34.230 Kerry Savage: Think about how your character talks when they are speaking to other characters. Is it similar to their internal monologue like how they hear themselves? Or is it different? Are they a person of few words, or are they chatty? 84 00:15:34.527 --> 00:15:44.860 Kerry Savage: Do they curse, or do they use curse adjacent words like fork? This, and thank you very much. The good place for providing us lots of options in the curse. Adjacent world, I think. 85 00:15:45.186 --> 00:16:03.129 Kerry Savage: How does their voice sound? Is it gravelly? Is it high pitched? What? What do people hear? What do they hear and that can be an interesting contrast, too, because none of us ever really hear ourselves right. Have you ever listened to yourself on a you know an answering machine and thought, that is not what my voice sounds like. So that can be an interesting contrast. 86 00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:09.893 Kerry Savage: Do they use colloquialisms? Do they have some kind of regional accent, or do they speak a dialect? 87 00:16:10.270 --> 00:16:25.850 Kerry Savage: This is something that can be really wonderful and immersive. But I want to throw up a red flag when I talked about it. There are pitfalls and dangers here, because it can be really really easy to get this wrong and be offensive, even if you don't intend to be 88 00:16:25.850 --> 00:16:48.129 Kerry Savage: so, you wanna tread very carefully, especially when choosing a region or an accent or dialect that's outside of your own experience and knowledge. I definitely am one of those people who believes that the power and the joy of writing and reading is being able to inhabit someone else's shoes and experience the world through their eyes. But as writers, we have that responsibility to be thoughtful about how we deploy that power 89 00:16:48.910 --> 00:16:55.770 Kerry Savage: and the other thing about using accents and dialect is a really practical thing, and that is that it can be very tiresome for the reader. 90 00:16:56.143 --> 00:17:16.849 Kerry Savage: A well chosen moment that deploys a regional expression can really deepen that experience and make the narrative special. I think that that's true of any kind of really special immersive detail, but doing it incessantly, incessantly, can be really frustrating, and it discourages the readers and makes them want to put the book down. And obviously, that is the last thing that we want. 91 00:17:17.277 --> 00:17:21.860 Kerry Savage: So just be very mindful of how you use it, and do so judiciously. 92 00:17:22.628 --> 00:17:27.340 Kerry Savage: And the last thing that I want to say about this before we look at a couple of examples 93 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:31.699 Kerry Savage: is to be mindful of whether all of your point of view characters sound the same. 94 00:17:32.291 --> 00:17:37.109 Kerry Savage: This is especially important when you have multiple point of view characters telling the story. 95 00:17:37.270 --> 00:18:00.729 Kerry Savage: so do your best to make sure that their voices are distinct, even if you give the readers the clues queues rather like chapter headings at the top of a chapter that says like, here's the point of view that we're in, you know, Heather or Brian, or whatever please do do that. That is very helpful. If you think that is like a cheat. It's not readers will very much appreciate it, but it's also nice when you're 96 00:18:00.940 --> 00:18:14.859 Kerry Savage: 3 pages 5 pages in to be hearing that voice and be like, well, I know I'm in Heather's pub because she's she's doing that thing that she does, and she's using that expression. And she's thinking in this way, which is very different than the way Brian is thinking. 97 00:18:15.405 --> 00:18:18.955 Kerry Savage: Right, as distinct as you can make those those voices. 98 00:18:19.610 --> 00:18:21.199 Kerry Savage: the better off you'll be. 99 00:18:21.670 --> 00:18:23.359 Kerry Savage: And lastly. 100 00:18:23.450 --> 00:18:27.940 Kerry Savage: think about whether all of your characters reflect your own particular worldview. 101 00:18:28.270 --> 00:18:51.270 Kerry Savage: So there's nothing wrong with having a character that does right. I mean, I think in in many ways it can't help but seep into our writing but they shouldn't all do that, because, as we surely know, just from like living and existing in the world. Not everybody shares our world view and at the risk of the danger of waiting into that like, it would be a pretty boring thing, right if everybody thought the same thing all the time. 102 00:18:51.582 --> 00:19:14.700 Kerry Savage: So we just wanna create as realistic of a world as we can, even if that world really isn't your, you know, writing fantasy which I don't know how many people in this group are actually writing fantasy. But in even outside of worlds that are recognizable as the worlds around us, we still want to be sure that different people, different people's different worldviews are, reflected, because that is just realistic. 103 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:30.769 Kerry Savage: So I have a couple of examples to walk you through. And then I'm going to. I'll read it, and then I'll talk just very briefly about why I chose it. So this excerpt is from the curious incident of the dog in the night time by Mark Hadden. 104 00:19:31.528 --> 00:19:34.110 Kerry Savage: This is a murdering murder mystery novel. 105 00:19:34.140 --> 00:19:37.379 Kerry Savage: Siobhan said that I should write something I would want to read myself 106 00:19:37.510 --> 00:19:52.229 Kerry Savage: most. Mostly I read books about science and maths. I do not like proper novels in proper novels. People say things like, I am veined with iron, with silver, and with streaks of common mud. I cannot contract into the firm fist which those clench who do not depend on stimulus. 107 00:19:52.250 --> 00:19:58.280 Kerry Savage: What does this mean? I do not know, nor does father. Nor did Shevan or Mr. Siobhan's. I've asked them. 108 00:19:58.690 --> 00:20:08.640 Kerry Savage: Siobhan has long blonde hair, and wears glasses which are made of green plastic, and Mr. Siobhan smells of soap, and wears brown shoes that have approximately 60 tiny circular holes in each of them. 109 00:20:10.120 --> 00:20:17.439 Kerry Savage: So I believe this is the very opener of the book. But what you notice like right off the bat. Right? The voice is very matter of fact. 110 00:20:17.660 --> 00:20:24.749 Kerry Savage: and that is emphasized by the part where he tells us that he does not like the figurative language that's found in proper novels. 111 00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:30.900 Kerry Savage: Also the use of proper to describe the novel gives us a little bit of a clue that the narrator is British. 112 00:20:31.455 --> 00:20:38.479 Kerry Savage: However, the the person is very curious about the world around them, right? And they're unafraid to ask when they don't understand something. 113 00:20:38.600 --> 00:20:48.600 Kerry Savage: So they're observant, and they appreciate the specificity and the factual, quantifiable details of the world around them. Those are the things that that they appreciate the most. 114 00:20:50.190 --> 00:20:58.010 Kerry Savage: So one more from a new favorite. This is a relatively recent release. It's listen for the lie by Amy Tinterra. 115 00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:04.769 Kerry Savage: So this this starts off. A Podcaster has decided to ruin my life, so I'm buying a chicken. 116 00:21:05.100 --> 00:21:10.899 Kerry Savage: I make plans for this chicken as I sit in my cubicle at Walter J. Brown investment services waiting to be fired. 117 00:21:10.950 --> 00:21:18.030 Kerry Savage: I stopped pretending to work 2 h ago. Now I'm just staring at recipes on my phone, dreaming about sticking lemons at the chicken spot. 118 00:21:18.340 --> 00:21:29.460 Kerry Savage: It's an apology, chicken from my boyfriend. It's like that engagement chicken the one women make to persuade their boyfriends to propose, except this is a sorry I didn't tell you. I'm the prime suspect in my friend's murder. Chicken 119 00:21:30.238 --> 00:21:32.730 Kerry Savage: I love this. It it 120 00:21:33.050 --> 00:21:57.789 Kerry Savage: a hundred percent sets the expectation for what is to come in terms of this narrative voice that we're in. This is not the only point of view it. This alternates with podcast transcripts of this podcast or who's ruining her life. You get the transcripts which includes, like the narration of the podcaster, and then the interviews that he's doing. But the narrator. This this narrator is the only 1st person point of view that we get. 121 00:21:58.082 --> 00:22:18.250 Kerry Savage: And she's very sarcastic. She's very snarky. She's funny. I definitely cracked up the 1st time I read this when I read sticking lemons up a chickens, but she has a bit of an absurdist worldview, right? She understands that what she's doing is ridiculous, and that the whole situation that she's bringing us into is ridiculous right. She's she knows she's fired. She's googling recipes. 122 00:22:18.330 --> 00:22:22.929 Kerry Savage: And she knows that, like this podcast. Has come out or is about to come out. That is. 123 00:22:23.190 --> 00:22:33.509 Kerry Savage: accusing her, or reflecting the accusation that she has been. She is the prime suspect at her friend's murder, which happened several years ago, and we take it from there. So 124 00:22:33.740 --> 00:22:38.010 Kerry Savage: she stays consistent in this voice, and we we know right away what to expect. 125 00:22:39.310 --> 00:23:03.900 Kerry Savage: So the last thing that I wanna touch on as as far as voice is concerned, is authorial voice. So you but generally authorial voice, is something that like, 1st of all, don't be concerned about this when you're just. You're working on your books. Don't think, oh, I need to be putting the mark of myself on this thing in some way. 1st of all, you are, and just by writing it, you sort of you can't help but seep into the world and the narrative that you create 126 00:23:04.182 --> 00:23:25.920 Kerry Savage: so really, when we talk about authorial voice, or when someone says, Oh, this author's voice, or whatever. But they're really saying, I think I would argue is that you can put a piece of this person's work down in front in front of someone without any sort of identifying characteristics, and they can read it and say, oh, that's so, and so's work right? They read it, and they know without being told who's written it. 127 00:23:26.407 --> 00:23:32.999 Kerry Savage: It's an indication that the authorial voice is consistent, and comes through an entire body of work. 128 00:23:33.524 --> 00:23:51.500 Kerry Savage: So all of the same elements that go into creating a character or a narrative voice are in play here like the sentence, structure, dialog, word, choice, and tone. But some other things that you can consider when defining an authorial voice would be like, does this author write about similar themes or topics throughout the body of their work? 129 00:23:51.540 --> 00:23:56.700 Kerry Savage: And or do they like to use a particular location, place or time, or both. 130 00:23:57.221 --> 00:24:09.748 Kerry Savage: And as I just said, the key thing here is that when we talk about authorial voice, we mean consistency across the work you are developing your authorial voice with each piece of writing that you do without being particularly mindful about it. 131 00:24:10.500 --> 00:24:32.710 Kerry Savage: The other thing that I wanna know is that not everyone develops this in the same way. There are multitudes of very, very successful writers that might not be said to have a distinct authorial voice, and that is just fine. There is nothing wrong. They're doing great. And so will you, if you just, you know, do the best writing that you can, and not worry so much about? Am I sounding like 132 00:24:32.800 --> 00:24:35.369 Kerry Savage: so and so? Or am I sounding like myself? 133 00:24:35.714 --> 00:24:41.260 Kerry Savage: And what does that even mean? So I br, I say all of this just to say, Don't worry about it. 134 00:24:41.510 --> 00:24:56.619 Kerry Savage: But I wanted to give you a quick example. Which I think I would argue, even though I have attributed it here, you probably would know who it was. I'm guessing if I didn't. If I didn't tell you which would illustrate the point obviously 135 00:24:56.660 --> 00:24:57.880 Kerry Savage: so. 136 00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:01.390 Kerry Savage: Castle Rock has been at least in recent years, an unlucky town. 137 00:25:01.530 --> 00:25:12.969 Kerry Savage: as if to prove the old saw about lightning, and how often it strikes in the same place isn't always right. A number of bad things had happened in Castle Rock over the last 8 or 10 years. Things bad enough to make the national news. 138 00:25:13.050 --> 00:25:21.590 Kerry Savage: George Bannerman was the local sheriff when these things occurred, but Big George, as he had been affectionately called, would not have to deal with Homer Gamash because Big George was dead. 139 00:25:21.810 --> 00:25:34.169 Kerry Savage: He had survived the 1st bad thing, a series of rape strangulations committed by one of his own officers, but 2 years later he'd been killed by a rabid dog out on town Road 3 not just killed either, but almost literally torn apart. 140 00:25:34.230 --> 00:25:40.690 Kerry Savage: Both of these cases had been extremely strange, but the world was a strange place, and a hard one, and sometimes an unlucky one. 141 00:25:41.140 --> 00:25:53.849 Kerry Savage: So this is Stephen King. Obviously I'm betting, as I said, that if I hadn't told you that you would probably still know and the reason for that is I mean right up right up front right at the back. He's 142 00:25:53.930 --> 00:26:10.840 Kerry Savage: he's talking about Castle Rock as a setting, and and if you know anything about Stephen King, or even if you don't really know anything about Stephen King. The one thing you probably do know, outside of that he writes a lot of horror. Is that he sets a lot of his work in this fictional town in being called Castle Rock. 143 00:26:11.210 --> 00:26:31.029 Kerry Savage: It's been the setting, whether primarily or at least in in some part, in so many of his books that you see that, and you just like I would argue if you turned in a book with A, with a town called Castle Rock. In it your editor would probably be like Nope, that's not the we can't use that name because it's so identified with his particular work. 144 00:26:31.582 --> 00:26:47.070 Kerry Savage: There's also this sort of conversational tone, like he says, oh, that old saw! And telling us the sheriff's nickname and sort of the last thing, too, where, as I love sort of winks and nods to 2 of his previous works. 145 00:26:47.070 --> 00:27:04.689 Kerry Savage: the Dead Zone and Cujo the rape strangulations was the dead zone, and then the rabid dog being Kujo. So you know, if you're reading this, and you have dropped in from the void and never read anything by Stephen King, and don't know anything about him. You could just cruise right past this and just enjoy it for like nice details. 146 00:27:05.070 --> 00:27:15.849 Kerry Savage: But if you have been immersed in his world at all. You appreciate those sort of links and nods back to the previous works. It just kinda makes you feel smart. So it's a really clever thing to do. 147 00:27:15.930 --> 00:27:22.319 Kerry Savage: But I have. I did read somewhere that someone said, you know. Oh, Stephen King is sort of a chameleon, and I think like. 148 00:27:22.350 --> 00:27:28.619 Kerry Savage: sure I get that. He's dabbled in a lot of different things over the years. In terms of 149 00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:31.049 Kerry Savage: genre even, and and 150 00:27:31.190 --> 00:27:35.110 Kerry Savage: tone and style, and all those kinds of things, but I think you know I 151 00:27:35.360 --> 00:27:43.130 Kerry Savage: read him as I said a lot in my formative years, and I would say, like the core of who I think he is as a writer is, is encapsulated in this voice. 152 00:27:44.400 --> 00:27:45.400 Kerry Savage: So 153 00:27:45.832 --> 00:28:10.409 Kerry Savage: I do have some exercises here. But given the time that where we're at, I wanna keep going. So we're not gonna pause. I will say, as Michelle pointed out, these slides are available to you, you can review them online, you can download them. I also have a free workbook that has all of these exercises and more on my website on that same page. So please feel free to download that and dig into it. Good stuff. I think. 154 00:28:10.610 --> 00:28:11.530 Kerry Savage: So 155 00:28:11.670 --> 00:28:14.180 Kerry Savage: let's talk about tone. 156 00:28:14.771 --> 00:28:29.730 Kerry Savage: I could not start off this section without whipping out an old saw of my own, which is, whenever I think about tone. I immediately hear my mother and my head is saying, I don't appreciate your tone, young lady. And I think that's like pretty much exactly how she said it nailed it. 157 00:28:30.003 --> 00:28:40.139 Kerry Savage: I'm guessing. A lot of us have probably heard that from some sort of parental or authority figure over the years, and if you didn't, then you did a lot better in adolescence than I did. So good on you. 158 00:28:40.515 --> 00:28:47.900 Kerry Savage: But that's really tone in a nutshell. Right tone is attitude. If someone points out your tone by telling you they don't 159 00:28:48.120 --> 00:28:52.469 Kerry Savage: to like your tone. Chances are good that you've been sarcastic or rude 160 00:28:52.700 --> 00:28:55.680 Kerry Savage: or so. Something in that vein. Right 161 00:28:56.010 --> 00:29:03.240 Kerry Savage: tone is generally described using an adjective which makes sense when you think that adjectives are how we assign attributes to something 162 00:29:03.817 --> 00:29:20.629 Kerry Savage: and while there's a certain level of consistency that we want to be aware of, and more on that in a moment. As I mentioned before, tone can and should change with context. Because people's reactions and actions and dialogue, they're all gonna change, depending on the situation that they are in. 163 00:29:21.891 --> 00:29:26.510 Kerry Savage: Tone affects the reader's emotional work. We are sorry. The 164 00:29:27.020 --> 00:29:31.649 Kerry Savage: start over again. Tone affects the reader's emotional reaction to your work. 165 00:29:31.780 --> 00:29:41.669 Kerry Savage: How someone experiences a No nonsense. Police detective is going to be very different from an amateur sleuth who owns a tea shop and believes that all problems can be solved by talking things out. 166 00:29:42.210 --> 00:30:07.679 Kerry Savage: So thinking about tone also helps to show rather than tell, because we're illustrating an attitude rather than saying like Karen was sad. We don't wanna say Karen was sad. We wanna show how Karen was sad. Why, Karen was sad. How do we know? Is she crying? Is she doing that thing that she does where she's like hiccupping? Because she's trying not to cry. You know all these different ways that you can illustrate that without actually having to say. Karen was sad. 167 00:30:08.690 --> 00:30:19.739 Kerry Savage: and then finally circling back to how we started this whole little slide. Think about how you interpret what someone says to you like, and then also think about what influences that interpretation. 168 00:30:19.850 --> 00:30:26.629 Kerry Savage: It is not just what they say, but it's also how they say it. And those details, the how that is your tone. 169 00:30:28.470 --> 00:30:31.720 Kerry Savage: So how do we convey it right? What influences it? 170 00:30:31.860 --> 00:30:52.860 Kerry Savage: So consider your world. Your words choices not just on an individual level, but also more holistically like, do you use formal words, or do you use more casual ones? Is your character passive? Are they observing the world as it passes them by? Or are they aggressive, taking action, even in situations where it might behoove them to just act with a little bit more caution. 171 00:30:53.398 --> 00:30:55.190 Kerry Savage: Or are they assertive. 172 00:30:55.350 --> 00:31:01.240 Kerry Savage: but not in a forceful way which I would argue like on that spectrum of passive and start of and aggressive 173 00:31:02.610 --> 00:31:15.171 Kerry Savage: So, as I've mentioned before, like that worldview about optimism or pessim pessimism. Do they see? The glass is half full or half empty? That's gonna influence. How they think right and how that is conveyed. 174 00:31:15.630 --> 00:31:19.509 Kerry Savage: Do they always assume that the worst or the best in people 175 00:31:19.640 --> 00:31:28.589 Kerry Savage: are they? Are your characters sincere, or are they snarky? Do they like and want to share themselves and their thoughts and feelings with others? Or do they use humor as a shield? 176 00:31:28.800 --> 00:31:37.890 Kerry Savage: And similarly, are they friendly, or are they sort of gruff with people, or are they aloof, or are they fearful of everybody? For whatever reason? 177 00:31:38.360 --> 00:31:43.579 Kerry Savage: similarly, with your dialogue, think about how your character's feeling as they are interacting? 178 00:31:44.370 --> 00:31:58.079 Kerry Savage: So like, I just wanna pause here and just say, like, there's a lot of nuance happening here. So you just wanna acknowledge that. And then also just say I'm I'm not arguing that all characters should have the same tone, absolutely, not actually 179 00:31:58.536 --> 00:32:16.519 Kerry Savage: but remember, since the reader is experiencing the world through the point of view characters, eyes that's generally the tone that's gonna come across because we experience not just what they're saying, but what they're not saying and what they're thinking about, all of it. So your main character might have a very sort of 180 00:32:16.520 --> 00:32:43.290 Kerry Savage: sarcastic or snarky tone that doesn't mean that everybody who interacts with them is going to have that same tone. Either they're gonna come, probably more likely going to come back with that. I don't appreciate your tone in some instances, or, you know, react to them like pull back because they're they're not appreciative of that snarkiness or something. But the overall 5 is going to be snarky, because we're going to be in that person's head, and they're not just saying, Snarky, that they're probably thinking Snarky as well 181 00:32:43.660 --> 00:32:48.030 Kerry Savage: as illustrated by that voice example would listen for the lie right? 182 00:32:48.482 --> 00:32:55.787 Kerry Savage: It wasn't. We didn't see her actually talk to anybody. It was all we're getting is her internal monologue, and it was certainly very sassy. 183 00:32:57.610 --> 00:33:08.545 Kerry Savage: So the last thing on this slide punctuation it's not something that I would necessarily rely on for conveying tone like in a major way in your narrative, because 184 00:33:09.250 --> 00:33:10.510 Kerry Savage: it can 185 00:33:11.030 --> 00:33:31.600 Kerry Savage: get really, it could be too much. If you're constantly using it, it can sort of lean on be something that look feels more like a crutch like you're you need to be doing work in other areas like this word choice, or the dialogue or interiority, probably, but I just wanted to point it out because, I wanted you to be mindful that it can certainly convey an emotional reaction. 186 00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:48.460 Kerry Savage: I know that I personally use a lot or too many exclamation points in my emails because I always wanna convey an upbeat or positive tone. So if you ever email with me, you'll probably notice that there's just exclamation points all over the place, and I'm trying to be better about that 187 00:33:48.887 --> 00:34:09.440 Kerry Savage: but overuse of any punctuation. Besides periods which are practically invisible unless they're used in a really unexpected way. You wanna avoid that. But there are times when you judiciously deploy it deploy it. It can be very effective. Right? So just think about how you would react if you had a text from somebody. 188 00:34:10.029 --> 00:34:11.909 Kerry Savage: That just says what? 189 00:34:13.380 --> 00:34:33.979 Kerry Savage: your whatever. You've just texted them that that they are reacting in this way. What versus? What? Versus? What? Versus? What? Sorry I'm not an actor, so probably shouldn't have attempted that. But you can see those are conveying some very different and things emotionally, so it can convey tone when you deploy it smartly. 190 00:34:35.880 --> 00:34:38.120 Kerry Savage: Oops, let's say, okay. 191 00:34:38.800 --> 00:34:49.340 Kerry Savage: I think I've said this before, but it definitely always bears repeating right? There's no value judgments here. There's no right or wrong answers in how your characters should be. 192 00:34:49.732 --> 00:34:55.060 Kerry Savage: Well, actually, I want to amend that the right answer is that you're using the elements 193 00:34:55.300 --> 00:35:22.980 Kerry Savage: effectively to convey the tone you're trying to set. And if you're using them in a way that doesn't get at what you want to convey, then that's the wrong answer. Right? My point, though, with just saying about value judgments, is that all of the choices that we make as writers are very meaningful, like, they all serve a purpose, and they all achieve different things. And so that's why it's important to know what you're going for what you want to convey, and then you can choose appropriately for that. 194 00:35:24.560 --> 00:35:40.590 Kerry Savage: Another note about consistency. Because, as we've said, tone can ensure the change in context, it's a entirely okay to have different tones from scene to scene. Like, I said. The tone of a funeral scene is likely very different from that of a birthday party, although I can 195 00:35:40.610 --> 00:36:03.450 Kerry Savage: think of maybe some fun instances where it wouldn't be I don't know. Might be fun to write but you don't want things to vary so widely that the reader gets whiplash or feel like they're reading 2 different books right if you start off the very friendly and welcome and opening tone, and then, like halfway through all of a sudden, things get very bruty and dark. Readers are, gonna be very confused, and they probably will not be very happy with you. 196 00:36:03.847 --> 00:36:28.300 Kerry Savage: Which goes hand in hand with meeting right, reader expectations, especially in the 1st sections of our books. Readers are learning how to read. Right we are. They're picking up on all kinds of cues that we are giving them. And part of that is getting a sense of the tone. So if you switch it up in a major way, especially in a way that disrupts reader expectations when they're well into the narrative. That's a big red flag. You do not want to do that. 197 00:36:28.846 --> 00:36:53.729 Kerry Savage: And lastly, just don't forget the details your hard, boiled, pessimistic detective. He's gonna be pissed off that the sun is shining because there's gonna be way more people out and about and to be bumping them bumping into them in the street, and they're just not gonna be happy about that, whereas your happy go, lucky teenager is gonna be super psyched that they get to go to the beach. So think about all those kinds of things. When you're thinking about tone and reactions that way. 198 00:36:54.680 --> 00:37:06.449 Kerry Savage: So got a couple of examples to look at. This 1st one is from the drift by Cj. Tutor, which is an amazing thriller if you haven't read it. And this is the very opening paragraph of that book. 199 00:37:06.980 --> 00:37:12.530 Kerry Savage: So they circled the body in the snow scavengers looking for anything they might strip from the corpse. 200 00:37:12.670 --> 00:37:24.100 Kerry Savage: It was half buried, frozen in the drift, legs and arms splayed a perfect snow angel. Bright blue eyes, surrounded by frosty lashes, stared up at an equally bright blue sky. Storm had passed. 201 00:37:24.510 --> 00:37:32.149 Kerry Savage: Eventually one of the group grew braver. It landed on the chest of the dead human and poked tentatively at its face, pecking at the lips and nose. 202 00:37:32.270 --> 00:37:39.180 Kerry Savage: Then it stuck its beak into one of its blue. Into one of the blue eyes it tugged and tugged it finally pulled the eye free with a small pop. 203 00:37:39.670 --> 00:37:52.530 Kerry Savage: Satisfied with its price, it hopped away and flapped off into a nearby pine tree. The rest of the crows and Boland descended upon the corpse in a bluster of black wings. Within minutes the body was completely faceless, unrecognizable. 204 00:37:53.310 --> 00:37:56.629 Kerry Savage: So I would just say, as a starting point like 205 00:37:56.800 --> 00:38:17.490 Kerry Savage: this writer is making no bones about the fact that there is going to be a certain strong level of visceral detail which could fall into gore, even depending on where that line falls for you in this book, right? That that detail about the eye popping. I mean the 1st time E. Even now I've read it probably 7, 10 times, and it still makes me just go. 206 00:38:18.428 --> 00:38:20.270 Kerry Savage: It's just it's really great. 207 00:38:20.638 --> 00:38:31.509 Kerry Savage: There's also a very ominous tone to this whole thing right? They're circling, they. We don't know that it's crows that are circling until a little bit in, but they're circling the body of the snow, and they're scavengers. 208 00:38:31.974 --> 00:38:41.939 Kerry Savage: What is this body? Why is it in the snow? It's laid out, and the contrast with that with the Snow Angel. But the frozen snow angel that is obviously in peril from these scavengers. 209 00:38:42.464 --> 00:38:54.509 Kerry Savage: There's also a little bit I would argue of like an observational tone. There isn't a lot of editorializing or embellishment. I mean, there is description, bright blue eyes. The frosty lashes. 210 00:38:56.680 --> 00:39:11.168 Kerry Savage: Things like that. But there's short sentences and sentence fragments that the author uses to, I think, to sort of fury up the the rhythm and the cadence of this that sets sort of this observational tone to it. 211 00:39:11.970 --> 00:39:18.210 Kerry Savage: so yeah, highly recommend this book highly recommend all of these books. I mean, there's a reason I pick them as examples. 212 00:39:18.944 --> 00:39:24.350 Kerry Savage: So another one. This is from the murder room by Pd. James again. We've got the opening paragraphs here. 213 00:39:24.896 --> 00:39:44.830 Kerry Savage: On Friday, 25th of October, exactly one week before the 1st body was discovered at the Dupain Museum. Adam Dalglish visited the Museum for the 1st time. The visit was fortuitous, decision impulsive, and he was later to look back on that afternoon as one of life's bizarre coincidences, which, although occurring more frequently than reason would expect, never failed to surprise. 214 00:39:45.200 --> 00:39:58.000 Kerry Savage: He had left the home office building in Queen Anne's Gate at 2 30, after a long morning, only briefly interrupted by the usual break for broadened sandwiches and indifferent coffee, and was walking the short distance back to his new Scotland Yard office. 215 00:39:58.030 --> 00:40:14.979 Kerry Savage: He was alone. That, too, was fortuitous. The police representative at the meeting had been strong, and Dalglish would normally have left with the Assistant Commissioner, but one of the undersecretaries in the Criminal Policy Department had asked him to look in in his office to discuss a query unrelated to the morning's business, and he walked unaccompanied. 216 00:40:15.430 --> 00:40:31.099 Kerry Savage: So right off the bat right like comparing this to the last example, there's really formal language that's being used here right fortuitous instead of lucky occurring rather than happening query instead of question or matter, and unaccompanied instead of alone. 217 00:40:31.450 --> 00:40:36.420 Kerry Savage: There's also long sentences. I think this whole thing is is 4 or 5 sentences long. 218 00:40:36.767 --> 00:40:50.582 Kerry Savage: So that is setting a very different tone than using like short sentences, or even mixing it up. I think if there's these longer sentences, we know we start to know what we're getting ourselves into, and that is going to set this tone for these longer. 219 00:40:51.320 --> 00:40:53.430 Kerry Savage: These longer sentences throughout. 220 00:40:53.710 --> 00:41:02.319 Kerry Savage: It's also a little bit, I noticed, at least to me, of sort of a world weary tone here, like he talks about like the indifferent coffee which I just love. 221 00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:09.480 Kerry Savage: and his being alone was fortuitous. You just get the sense that he's very busy and moments of alone time are sort of precious 222 00:41:09.789 --> 00:41:37.010 Kerry Savage: and that maybe a little tired. And then I think all the offices and the title people that he interacts with just in these very 1st few sentences. It's like very sort of you. You expect that this guy is going to be like sort of just the facts. He's gonna be serious. Maybe not too serious. And like that, he lacks a sense of humor. But it's going to be this person has serious work to do. And they're surrounded by serious people who are also like just very focused on the work that they're doing 223 00:41:37.514 --> 00:41:45.490 Kerry Savage: so you can see. And I could probably draw even more assumptions from all of this. But you can see how much you can take away from just, you know, just a few sentences. 224 00:41:46.493 --> 00:41:53.619 Kerry Savage: So we'll skip over the tone exercise. I want to make sure we have time for questions at the end. So we'll just dive right into setting 225 00:41:53.920 --> 00:42:10.760 Kerry Savage: last, but certainly not least beautiful setting. It's the most concrete element. I would say. We're gonna talk about today. All stories have setting, and even if that setting is like, avoid in space and some indeterminate future. But hopefully, your setting is a lot more specific than that 226 00:42:11.750 --> 00:42:24.230 Kerry Savage: setting is a stories, place and time, and it can have tremendous impact on your story, not least of which, because or not least because, it influences your characters and it informs their worldview. Aka, their voice. 227 00:42:24.744 --> 00:42:39.540 Kerry Savage: So when we talk about setting as place, there is a place in the sense of the natural world around the characters like, is it urban, or is it rural? Does the setting experience seasons or not? What grows there? What other things live there. Besides humans. 228 00:42:39.900 --> 00:42:44.619 Kerry Savage: We're also talking about the physical locations in which the story takes place. 229 00:42:44.680 --> 00:42:48.720 Kerry Savage: So the natural world in a story might be the city of Boston. 230 00:42:48.810 --> 00:43:09.170 Kerry Savage: and the physical locations might be like police Headquarters, Boston Common, Fenway Park, and the main characters, 1998, Subaru and Preza. And yes, I did do a little touch of research. And they did make an impressa in 1998. So we'll touch a little bit on the importance of doing research and what that means of just wanted to say. Yes, I did. My research. 231 00:43:09.522 --> 00:43:27.139 Kerry Savage: It also setting also refers to the cultural and historical background and context in which the story takes place. So for again, for example, a character living in Boston in the 19 seventies is gonna experience everything their world very differently from one living in Boston in 2024. Right? 232 00:43:28.090 --> 00:43:35.079 Kerry Savage: So let's look at some questions that we need to answer in order to like make a nice immersive setting for our narrative and our readers. 233 00:43:35.560 --> 00:43:52.710 Kerry Savage: You probably without even thinking about it, without even realizing that you're thinking about it. You probably had a setting from the start of your very like baby idea of your book. That if you wrote down a sentence or 2 about that idea, or if you had sort of a what if statement already contained? 234 00:43:53.044 --> 00:44:08.749 Kerry Savage: Or sorry, it may have already contained some idea of setting or even if it didn't, I'm willing to bet that you in your mind had an idea about where it was going to take place, even if it wasn't like one of the 1st few things that you wrote down, or it wasn't the thing that you articulated about your story right off the bat. 235 00:44:09.100 --> 00:44:25.620 Kerry Savage: but regardless of where you are in your running process. It's really helpful to be detailed and definitive about your setting. So I encourage you to like, go through and answer these questions about your setting. They're in that workbook that I talked about, too. They start off easy, and then they get a little bit more involved. 236 00:44:26.080 --> 00:44:31.360 Kerry Savage: So you want to think about? Is your world real? IE. Is it reflective of the world around us. 237 00:44:31.390 --> 00:44:47.099 Kerry Savage: or is it imagined, or is it somewhere in between, and by what by that I mean, are there some fantastical elements or supernatural elements, or magic elements? But otherwise your characters are moving through a world that functions more or less like the one that's around us every day. 238 00:44:48.380 --> 00:44:53.180 Kerry Savage: Do you want, or need the story to take place in a particular place and or time? 239 00:44:53.580 --> 00:45:05.040 Kerry Savage: Some of the obstacles that were put we put in our characters. Ways like they relate to who they are, and how they see themselves, but other things might be directly related to the where and the when of your narrative. 240 00:45:05.170 --> 00:45:34.789 Kerry Savage: So like an obvious example, is, if you need your character, to battle through a snowstorm like in the drift. Don't set the story in Florida right. They're not gonna have to deal with that. Or, if you need a tornado, don't set it in the northeast because we don't get them, although that might be changing. Thanks, global warming. Another one. If your story is set in the 17 hundreds. They don't have to deal with any kind of modern technology, and that might be great that might help you get at the core of what it is that you're interested in exploring in your book? 241 00:45:35.934 --> 00:45:46.650 Kerry Savage: Think about how your setting influences, your characters and their worldview. Do they like to be anonymous? Do they want to be one of the crowd, or do they like being a big fish in a small town pond? 242 00:45:46.670 --> 00:45:52.359 Kerry Savage: Are they mad that they had to move back to the dry heat of Arizona after 10 blissful years in Alaska. 243 00:45:53.002 --> 00:46:04.860 Kerry Savage: And if you are writing about a real place and or time other than our own. Do your research. Here's what this comes in right. You do not have to faithfully recreate a place or a time. 244 00:46:04.930 --> 00:46:27.329 Kerry Savage: but know that if you mix things up, especially with places, cities, people that are not even cities, but places where people live and where they are. You very likely might hear about it from these eagle eyed readers who may be very kindly intentioned. They may also not be very kindly intentioned. They want you to know that they've spotted your mistake. 245 00:46:27.719 --> 00:46:30.810 Kerry Savage: And let you know how it should have been corrected. 246 00:46:31.290 --> 00:46:59.879 Kerry Savage: my response to that is, we are writing fiction. You are allowed to change things if you want to, if it works better for your story. I just finished a book that was set in Boston, and I noticed a couple of things that didn't seem quite right to me. But then there was an author's note at the end that said, Hey, yeah, I moved these couple of things around because I needed it for this, that, or the other reason, and while I am not one of those people who would ever write a letter to an author saying you messed this up? I. 247 00:46:59.890 --> 00:47:20.530 Kerry Savage: And it didn't actually take away from my enjoyment of the story. I did appreciate the fact that the author said like, Hey, Hey, I know I moved some stuff around, and I had a reason for doing so. So I appreciated that. So I recommend, for that reason, keeping track of sort of these deliberate discrepancies, and then addressing them in an author's note. It may not keep all of the 248 00:47:20.570 --> 00:47:32.719 Kerry Savage: well intentioned people off of your bag, but it can certainly help it. It does prove that. You know that it's not quite right, but you did it for the sake of the story, which is always in my mind. Okay. 249 00:47:35.370 --> 00:47:46.055 Kerry Savage: so more things to think about specifically around when, especially if you're not setting your book in contemporary times. So you definitely, you need to think about how life was different. 250 00:47:46.480 --> 00:47:51.020 Kerry Savage: including like what technology was available to people. And how are they using it? 251 00:47:51.412 --> 00:48:04.839 Kerry Savage: Especially when we're talking about stories in the past one, I'm sure. Actually, it still applies today. But was the technology available to everyone? Or were just people of certain classes, social classes? Using it and had it available to them? 252 00:48:04.970 --> 00:48:14.389 Kerry Savage: And if it was, how were they using it? I mean, I would argue that the way I use my smartphone and social media is very different from a 20 year old. 253 00:48:14.735 --> 00:48:18.820 Kerry Savage: I wouldn't even argue it. I would just say it's a statement. It's true, it happens. 254 00:48:19.070 --> 00:48:20.870 Kerry Savage: And I'm sure they would agree. 255 00:48:21.404 --> 00:48:26.070 Kerry Savage: Think about what societal and cultural expectations were different, and how 256 00:48:26.220 --> 00:48:44.040 Kerry Savage: this is often a big reason why a writer wants to work in a historical setting because they want to explore how life was different and what parallels can be drawn to how we live today. Those are the kinds of things that you wanna make sure that you get right. Those are. It's another place where you have a discrepancy about something, and someone will gladly call you out on it. 257 00:48:44.381 --> 00:48:48.889 Kerry Savage: And something that people often forget, because we're so immersed in the world that we create 258 00:48:49.080 --> 00:49:07.830 Kerry Savage: what world events happened over the course of your novels? Time, period, and how did they affect your characters, things like wars, our natural disasters, social upheaval, major cultural milestones, all of those things are happening in either the backgrounds for sure or potentially the foregrounds of our characters lives. 259 00:49:08.030 --> 00:49:26.000 Kerry Savage: and like, as an example, I thought of, you know, if your time period that you're writing in includes December 7th of 1941, and your character is American. It is very unlikely that Pearl Harbor wouldn't have affected them in some way. They may not be sitting there in the thick of it. But it was all over the news, you know. It was a big 260 00:49:26.010 --> 00:49:34.680 Kerry Savage: disaster that was happening, and so thing that everybody was talking about. And so to just sort of glaze right past it like it didn't happen is not realistic. 261 00:49:36.250 --> 00:49:51.549 Kerry Savage: So before we get to some examples, I wanted to talk, touch briefly on setting as a character, because this is a really common say set saying that a lot of times we hear. Oh, the setting was practically a character. But like, what do the heck do they mean when people say this? And is it a good thing or a bad thing? 262 00:49:51.590 --> 00:49:53.910 Kerry Savage: And I would argue there's sort of 3 263 00:49:53.970 --> 00:50:20.139 Kerry Savage: instances where what they mean when they say that, like the setting, was a character, or almost was a character. If that setting has an obvious or outsized influence on the narrative. So I think, like in the Shining. The Overlook Hotel was a huge part of it. If Jack Torrens had set his and his family had set up shop, and like holiday and express, probably none of that would have happened right. So I would say in that instance like that setting is practically a character. 264 00:50:20.543 --> 00:50:25.100 Kerry Savage: It could also mean that the story could not have taken place in any other place or time. 265 00:50:25.140 --> 00:50:36.450 Kerry Savage: for example, and read an example of this specific thing. The characters and events in Barbara Hambley's Benjamin January series could not exist outside of the New Orleans of the 1830 s. 266 00:50:36.530 --> 00:50:44.789 Kerry Savage: She is writing about a very specific set of cultural rules and expectations, and it has a massive influence on how her characters move through the world. 267 00:50:45.340 --> 00:50:49.310 Kerry Savage: And lastly, I would say, the setting is integral to the overall world building. 268 00:50:49.550 --> 00:51:11.569 Kerry Savage: So one of the reasons that, like Louise Penny's Gomach Mysteries are so beloved, is because of the town of 3 Pines, and even though not all of the books are set there, totally or even in part, the setting is a huge touchdown. And inevitably, when you bring up Louise Penny or Gomsh, people talk about 3 pines. And so in that case I would argue that setting as a character. 269 00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:16.079 Kerry Savage: so a couple quick examples, and then we'll do questions. 270 00:51:16.473 --> 00:51:22.279 Kerry Savage: So this is from a beautiful mystery by Louise Penny is not set in 3 Pines. This this section that I picked 271 00:51:22.550 --> 00:51:34.019 Kerry Savage: A curved stone bench, sat under the maple and the center of the garden. Most of the trees autumn leaves have fallen, most had been raked up, but somewhere scattered on the grass, and a few, like forlorn hope clung to the mother tree 272 00:51:34.480 --> 00:51:43.000 Kerry Savage: in summer in full leaf, there would be a magnificent canopy throwing dappled light over the garden. Not much of this garden would be in full sun, not much in complete shade. 273 00:51:43.110 --> 00:51:48.719 Kerry Savage: The Abbott's garden had achieved a balance between light and dark, but now in autumn it seemed to be dying. 274 00:51:48.770 --> 00:51:53.860 Kerry Savage: but that, too, was a natural cycle. It would be deviant, abnormal if all was in perpetual flower. 275 00:51:53.980 --> 00:52:01.909 Kerry Savage: The walls were a Mosh guest, at least 10 feet high. No one climbed out of the garden, and the only way in was through the Abbott's bedroom, through the secret door. 276 00:52:02.360 --> 00:52:25.120 Kerry Savage: So I think she's done a really great job of anchoring us in this time and the place, I mean. Alright, I would guess I would say less time. There's not huge queues here about exactly when we are, I happen to know, because, you know, I've read the series. So I know we're we're pretty much more or less modern. But think about it. We know we're in this garden. There's this curb stone bench. 277 00:52:25.595 --> 00:52:28.029 Kerry Savage: These these wonderful examples of like 278 00:52:28.180 --> 00:52:28.944 Kerry Savage: how 279 00:52:29.960 --> 00:52:34.159 Kerry Savage: the the garden is changing because of the season. So there is a time cue of the season. 280 00:52:34.489 --> 00:52:55.149 Kerry Savage: And also just as it relates to what they're doing there right. There's been a body that's been found in this garden, and Gomach sees these like super high stone walls and knows like this is not how someone came in or out. Right. They came through the Abbott's bedroom, which is kind of I'm sure, verboten, if you're not the Abbot, and there's this secret door so like, how on earth this happened? 281 00:52:55.501 --> 00:53:04.999 Kerry Savage: And then there's beautiful details about the leaves and the trees and everything. It's very lyrical, which is sort of emblematic of her voice, I think. 282 00:53:06.030 --> 00:53:09.750 Kerry Savage: All right. Last one, from a free man of color by Barbara Hambley. 283 00:53:10.197 --> 00:53:38.200 Kerry Savage: Had Cardinal richly not assaulted the Mohican Princess, thrusting her up against the brick wall of the carriageway and forcing her mouth with his kisses. Benjamin January probably wouldn't have noticed anything amiss later on. Now there's a story for the papers. January considered the tangle of satin and buckskin, the crimson of the prelates, robes nearly black in the darkness of the passageway, save where the oil lamp that burned above the gate splashed it with gory color. The grip of the man's hand on the woman's buttocks, and the way her dark braids surged over his tight, clenched arm. 284 00:53:38.200 --> 00:54:03.640 Kerry Savage: Certainly the American pavers card Delish Lou, surprised by Leather with leather stocking, sister. It was a common enough site and season of Mardi Gras. When the February dark fell early, and the muddy streets of the old French town had been riding since 5 o'clock with revelers. God knew there were women, and not yanking men into doorways and carriage gates and public houses on Rue Royale and Rubella, and all over the old quarter tonight. He wondered what Titian or Rembrandt would made of the composition. 285 00:54:04.450 --> 00:54:13.200 Kerry Savage: So I think the things that I really love about this, and I think she just does an amazing job throughout all of her novels of this, this really rich, immersive setting of of New Orleans. 286 00:54:13.230 --> 00:54:20.879 Kerry Savage: We're not told in this, that it's in New Orleans, but I think you know you get a lot of the the queues, especially like the old French town. The names of the streets. 287 00:54:20.900 --> 00:54:48.090 Kerry Savage: the emphasis on Mardi Gras, where else celebrates Mardi Gras, like New Orleans, does and then also the time I think we get a sense of the time that we know that this isn't our time. There's the brick wall of the carriageway. There's the oil lamps. I think his references being Tishon and Rembrandt is also a clue. Not to say that no one could reference Tishin and Rembrandt now, but the fact that those are the 1st things that come to mind when he's thinking about these scenes, I think. 288 00:54:48.090 --> 00:54:52.639 Kerry Savage: gives us an orientation that this is not set in the present. So 289 00:54:52.910 --> 00:54:55.399 Kerry Savage: alright. I think we made it. 290 00:54:55.721 --> 00:55:18.810 Kerry Savage: Skipping over a couple of slides here. Just say, thank you. I'll do some questions, but I just wanted to call out that I have a special offer for people who have come to this. Which is that I'll do a review of 10 manuscript pages and a 30 min zoom session to discuss. That's $149, which is a special deal for you all. You can find that at the link that was shared. You can also get 291 00:55:18.810 --> 00:55:29.460 Kerry Savage: these slides, and, like, I said, other resources, including a workbook that I made that has all of the exercises in here and more, and that is free. So please feel free to take advantage of that, and 292 00:55:29.680 --> 00:55:31.709 Kerry Savage: happy to answer any questions. 293 00:55:32.020 --> 00:55:48.500 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Alright! Thanks, Kerry. We do have a few questions. We'll start off 1st with Carly, who asks, how would you say is a good way to convey character, tone with mannerisms and body language effectively, without getting stuck in internal thoughts and repetitive tags. 294 00:55:50.262 --> 00:56:13.730 Kerry Savage: Not sure about the re repetitive tags piece, but I think you know, when it comes to to gestures specifically just think about how people move, think, are there people in your life? And this is sometimes be useful, although also you may not wanna always call out people in your life. Someone sees themselves, whether that you intended or not, but they like when someone's thinking they're sort of, you know, put their 295 00:56:13.730 --> 00:56:26.139 Kerry Savage: their hand on their face and kind of tilt their head. Maybe they look off into the distance. So you can say, like, you could show that someone is doing that, or you know, if they bite their lip, or if they tap their foot 296 00:56:26.446 --> 00:56:44.213 Kerry Savage: or are always just moving. In general, I think you know, people tend who tend to be like more antsy like. Sometimes they just can't sit still. Things like that. Just think about all the different ways that we move through the world, and especially those things that you find yourself or others doing more habitually. 297 00:56:44.804 --> 00:57:07.870 Kerry Savage: Those are all the things. And and what is the context, then, to in which they're doing them right. When I'm perfectly calm, I can just kind of sit and probably do my thing. But if I'm nervous about something. I might be like jittery, or tapping my hand, or or just doing a little nod, or something like that. Those kinds of things that that bring out the uniqueness of your character that they do regularly, and it indicates a certain emotion. 298 00:57:07.970 --> 00:57:10.080 Kerry Savage: hope that was helpful. 299 00:57:10.470 --> 00:57:18.719 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Yes, regarding the tags she went on to explain. She means repetitive dialog tags like he said she said, or he exclaimed or grimaced. 300 00:57:19.230 --> 00:57:19.830 Kerry Savage: Yeah, right. 301 00:57:19.830 --> 00:57:21.250 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Motion and tone. 302 00:57:21.510 --> 00:57:32.005 Kerry Savage: So those I would say like, I'm I'm a fan of and I know this isn't the easiest thing to do. I know I I work at it in my own writing. So take that for with that sort of 303 00:57:32.250 --> 00:57:52.160 Kerry Savage: qualification, but the thing the beauty about of said is that it disappears in the readers. Mind right? It's almost like they don't even notice it. It's like a period in terms of punctuation. So said can disappear. And that's generally what we want to aim for, explains, shouted. You know all of those things. That sort of add another level are great. 304 00:57:52.740 --> 00:57:58.600 Kerry Savage: used judiciously, I would say, but then think about if someone like. If. 305 00:57:59.450 --> 00:58:16.680 Kerry Savage: instead of saying, she shouted, is there a way to like note how her voice went up or projected across the room in a different way. Those kinds of things like, what is another way that you can. You can pick the word that you want to convey, and then think about like, what is the next level of how you would want to describe that 306 00:58:16.892 --> 00:58:29.629 Kerry Savage: and it's a little bit of an exercise that you have to go through. I think it's like stretching a muscle, and the more that you do it the more it will come naturally. But it is definitely not something that just comes up easily, I think, for any of us. It's something that you need to practice, for sure. 307 00:58:30.910 --> 00:58:41.719 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Laura says, regarding setting, a large portion of my story takes place in an apartment the characters leave and come back quite a bit. How do I handle the apartment description without being repetitive? 308 00:58:41.930 --> 00:58:48.826 Kerry Savage: Hmm, that is a good one. Yeah. You want to be careful. There, I think what I would recommend doing is to 309 00:58:49.520 --> 00:59:07.059 Kerry Savage: give people a general sense of the apartment right up front, so they can kind of get used to it and and get themselves oriented, and then dribble in little clues. Is there something unique or something that has changed along the way about like whatever is happening in that particular room? 310 00:59:07.427 --> 00:59:16.440 Kerry Savage: You don't want to be hitting them over the head with the same thing, which is why it's often like recommended, and it may not be useful, for your story is to try to not 311 00:59:16.450 --> 00:59:32.140 Kerry Savage: bring back and be super repetitive with settings, or every time they come in, something should be changed. So I would say, Orient, your reader, ground your reader in that apartment, and then only call attention to it. Really, if something has changed otherwise, you could just say, like they're in this room, and that's enough. 312 00:59:32.330 --> 00:59:35.669 Kerry Savage: I wouldn't worry about doing any more description that way. 313 00:59:37.220 --> 00:59:55.529 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Matthew asks for your for you. Does research into setting and location require visiting locations? At a recent author event, he admitted. He wrote his books that on a Greek island he had never visited, he'd use Google maps and guidebooks. Consequently there were a lot of quite obvious distances which did not trouble him at all. 314 00:59:55.940 --> 01:00:25.940 Kerry Savage: Hmm! That's interesting. I think if you can go to the place, that is amazing. But I will say, you know, I had a whole research trip planned for my 1st book, and then Covid happened, and it I never got to go any of the places. So, and I don't think that I I did a lot. What I did is a lot of research into sounds like what he did, and I'm not sure how like the dissonances came up. But really, really digging into like what the natural world is like. So you can describe the trees on the floor and fauna 315 01:00:26.198 --> 01:00:54.589 Kerry Savage: going onto Google maps as much as you can and looking at street views. That can be less helpful if you're setting something like I did in 1,700. London. Obviously London now. Looks nothing like it did then. But I think. Get as get as much as you can, and see where you can fill in your gaps. If you wanna try to find someone who does live there and can answer questions for you that can be really helpful but also like acknowledging what you know and what you don't know, or what you might have deliberately changed, is, I think, a key thing. 316 01:00:55.760 --> 01:01:17.930 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: We have time for one more question. It's from an anonymous attendee who asks, Can you talk a bit more about language and dialect? My character is Italian? How do you remind the reader that the character is talking with an accent? Do you remind them occasionally every few pages, or every other chapter, or do you just say he is Italian, and trust the reader will remember. Do you sprinkle a few Italian words here and there. 317 01:01:18.360 --> 01:01:35.410 Kerry Savage: That is exactly, I think, how I would handle it is set up. Tell them right off the bat, and maybe show it in a, in a piece of dialogue using an Italian word, or if there is an expression that they are off, always use like I'm actually studying Italian. And there's this expression, Kapa 318 01:01:35.668 --> 01:01:55.351 Kerry Savage: I think I hope I got that right like I would say, if the if the character character thinks that way and uses that more than once. I think that that's great. I would not do it every few pages, though that seems like a lot to me and that is something that like be a little like. Probably every few chapters would be great. Depends on your situations, of course. But yeah, 319 01:01:55.630 --> 01:01:58.794 Kerry Savage: Judicious is my watchword for something like that. 320 01:02:00.340 --> 01:02:26.610 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Well, that is all of our questions, and we are ending just on time. So thank you, everyone for attending, and thank you again, Carrie, for being here with us. This is great. Please check out the hub. The link has been updated there. And so you can access the slides, and all of Carrie's information, as well as the rest of the replays from earlier today, are all up so. And then we have another session starting in an hour, so we will see you. Then. 321 01:02:26.610 --> 01:02:27.810 Kerry Savage: Thanks, everybody. 322 01:02:28.150 --> 01:02:29.460 Michelle @ ProWritingAid: Bye, everyone.