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Joe at ProWritingAid: Hello!

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Joe at ProWritingAid: If you guys can hear me and see me and see my screen please, could you just drop in the chat? Your name and where you're joining us from today.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Just give a bit of time for more people to join for anyone that didn't hear me. If you could drop your name and where you're joining us from today. That would be fantastic.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So we have Michelle from Canada. Oh, wow! Lots of people coming in. It's great Angie, from Brampton.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: wow! Penny from Indiana.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Felicity Edwards from the Uk.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Laura from California.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: manna from Croatia, fantastic

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Brooklyn

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Joe at ProWritingAid: cheer from 1,000 Oaks, May from Ohio, Peter from Berlin.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Libby from Missouri.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Fantastic! Just give it one more minute to make sure everybody joins

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Judy from Wales in the Uk. Erin from New Hampshire.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: said from Spain.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Hi! From the Netherlands.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Fantastic.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay, brilliant. I think I'll get started. It's great to see so many of you here. So. Hello! My name is Joe from pro writing aid. And thank you so so much for joining us today.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Today's session. Make your story sing with sensory details is the 1st in the 4 part edit to Excellence Webinar series we're conducting for our Nanowrimo August takeover

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Joe at ProWritingAid: so we here at prowriting Aid, are proud sponsors of Nanowrimo. And we love connecting with folks in the writing community. Just a little bit of information about prowriting aid. So we are a digital toolkit for storytellers designed to elevate your prose and streamline your editing process.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Our mission is to give storytellers, writers like yourselves the power to craft your story and bring it to life.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: In addition to our software product, we host free events all year round, including genre specific writers, weeks as well as webinars and workshops like this one.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: In fact, we'll let you be the 1st to know that Science Fiction writers. Week is coming up in just over a month, and so please be on the lookout for our official official announcement

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Joe at ProWritingAid: to access the edit to excellence. Replays, session slides and schedule and special discount. Offer for Nano participants. Please be sure to visit the Hub page link, which we will drop into the chat.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay, so with that being said.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: let's begin

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Joe at ProWritingAid: so welcome to edit to excellence session. One, make your sort story, sing with sensory details.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So a little bit, what about what we're going to cover today? So we're going to talk about what sensory detail is

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Joe at ProWritingAid: why sensory detail is so important.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: We're going to give some examples of sensory detail. And then we're going to get on to some exercises to to get us writing.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So 1st of all, let's begin by understanding sensory detail.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Sensory detail involves the use of descriptive language to engage the reader's senses. So sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch

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Joe at ProWritingAid: sensory detail

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Joe at ProWritingAid: details, draw readers into the story, making them feel present in the scenes engaging the senses can evoke strong emotional responses from the reader, and it helps readers to connect with the characters by experiencing the world through their senses. So it really is an effective way of putting readers putting themselves in the shoes of your characters.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So we're going to go through some examples now across some different genres. So 1st of all, we have sensory detail in romance writing. The 1st one is an excerpt from Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen, which has one of the best opening lines in literature, in my opinion, and this one is going to focus on sight. So

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Elizabeth, as they drove along, watched for the 1st appearance of Pemberley Woods with some perturbation, and when at length they turned in at the lodge, her spirits were in a high flutter.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and next we have an excerpt from Outlander by Diana Caboden, which is touch.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: His hand was warm and slightly rough, the calluses catching on the silk of my gown as he slid it off my shoulder. So we have a really really effective contrast there between the rough calluses of the hand catching on the soft silk of the gown which leads to some incredibly strong description. Here.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: next, we have some sensory detail in fantasy, writing, featuring arguably my favourite author, Jr. Tolkien. And this is focusing on smell, but as well. It includes some sound at the beginning here.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: so he could hear the groaning creak of the trees far below, and the sense of the air was full of the smell of the forest. So it really feels like we're in that forest. We can hear the the creak of the trees, the groaning creak of the trees, and we can smell the forest. It's a really effective way of putting your reader there.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: And next up we have an excerpt from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's stone, or the philosopher's stone. If you're in the Uk. And this is going to focus on taste.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: The treacle tart was Harry's favorite, and the warm, sweet taste of it made him feel as though he had come home. So here we have sensory description being used to actually tell us more about the character of Harry Potter. Here.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: next up, we have some sensory detail within crime writing, and this is an excerpt from the girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stig Larsen focusing on sight.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: The room was lit by a single lamp.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: casting a pale yellow glow over the scattered papers and files.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and an excerpt from Gongo by Gillian Flynn, which has one of the best twists I've ever read.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and this is going to focus on sound.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: I heard the crackle of the gravel under his feet as he walked away, each step a countdown to the explosion. So here we have sensory detail being used to create a sense of tension.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So now we're going to come on to crafting vivid sensory details

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Joe at ProWritingAid: as is important in creative writing. We want to show and don't tell. So we want to use descriptive language to paint a picture rather than just stating facts. So, for example, instead of simply stating. The room was messy.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: We could say clothes were strewn across the floor, and the smell of stale pizza lingered in the air, which is a much more effective way of communicating and describing that the room is messy as opposed to just stating that it is.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: We also want to be specific.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: choose precise details that evoke the senses strongly. So, for example, the freshly baked bread had a golden crust that cracked under the knife, releasing a warm, yeasty aroma, and that immediately made me think of the film Rastatouille, where the chef is showing the main character how to spot good bread, and she says it's all about the sound as well, which, again, is an effective use of sensory description.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: We also want to make sure we're engaging all 5 senses. So ensure your descriptions include sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So, for an example, here

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Joe at ProWritingAid: the carnival was a sensory overload with its bright lights, the roar of the crowd, the sweet sense of cotton candy, the sticky taste of caramel apples, and the rough texture of the burlap sack in the potato race, and that is almost overwhelming to read, because there's so much going on. And it's engaging all of our senses. We're not simply talking about one thing that we can see. For example, it's engaging all of our senses.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: And we also want to make sure we're incorporating character reactions. So we want to show how sensory details affect your characters. For example, the icy wind cut through his coat, making him shiver and pull up the collar, pull the collar up tighter around his neck

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Joe at ProWritingAid: now, and I'm currently reading Dracula by Bram Stoker, and there's a

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Joe at ProWritingAid: really powerful use of sensory description in that. The characters go into a crypt, and there's a

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Joe at ProWritingAid: horrible description of a putrid smell in there, and it makes all the characters, wretch, and want to leave, and it made me feel queasy reading it, and that's an exact. Another example of how effective sensory description can be. Because it it genuinely did make me feel a bit sick.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay. So now we've had a quick intro and as to what sensory description is, and gone through some examples.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: it's time to practice and put it into action. So

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Joe at ProWritingAid: here's how this is going to work.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: We will now proceed through 4 prompts for each prompt.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: You will have a set of instructions, and then a certain amount of time to complete the prompt

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Joe at ProWritingAid: at the end of the timer you can paste your work into the chat to share and to have it read out if you're comfortable, so please don't feel like you have to, or you're required to, but if you'd like to share your work and have it read out, please post it in the chat. It would be great to see what you're all writing.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: so exercise one

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Joe at ProWritingAid: a sensory snapshot.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: so I want you to take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a specific setting from your own story.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and then write down as many sensory details as you can think of focusing on all 5 senses. So we're not just focusing on maybe what we can see or what we can hear. We want to include examples of all 5 senses within a specific setting from our own story.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So I'm going to start the timer in a second. I'll turn my video off so I don't distract anyone, and I'll touch back again in 5 min, and we can go through some of your writing.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay, I'll start the time now.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay, well done, guys. Apologies for the alarm sound. If you heard that scared me. Okay, so great to read some of these, I can see a lot coming in the chat. So the 1st one we have

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Joe at ProWritingAid: from Shirley Matthews.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: The bog belched sulfur and blurt at the side of the Esker in gigantic, slow motion, bubbles, fantastic, lovely use of alliteration. She flicked her eyes at it, held her nose, and took her dagger out of its sheath.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: It slid with a zing of steel, and the sun gleamed down the razor edge. Undead, she thought, bring it fantastic.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Rebecca.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: lush! Soft blankets cocooned around her, nearly suffocating her. In the next room. Servants were preparing her bath, and her nose was already tingling with the salts and oils, melting her muscles even deeper into the cushions and blankets. Wonderful description.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: This was to be a difficult morning. For a moment the salts from the bath melded with that coming from her eyes, and she pressed her face into her pillow to prevent any sound any smell from coming through. A voice called to her, though.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and she took a stiff inhale of the cotton and silk before sitting up and making her way to the bath. Brilliant.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: We have another one here, clear, open skies, sifting sand moving across the dunes, blanketing otherwise heavy footsteps. The sun beats down, a line of sweat drips down the curve of her back, while particles of coarse sand cling to her skin that's brilliant, used to touch that every time she wiped the sweat from her brow, the sand smeared, and she refrained from rubbing her stinging eyes.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: This is great guys keep them coming. We'll do a few few more before we move on to the next exercise. So we have Nicole.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Her nose crinkled as the damp morning air carried the putrid smell of low tide inland. Nice, nicely horrible description of that smell. Brilliant traffic rolled by her with rattling mufflers and knocking engines. She frowned as the ghost of an English muffin.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: An apricot jam lingered in her mouth, reminding her she had not brushed her teeth. Brilliant description, getting all the senses in here. The black wool slacks, now faded to dark grey with age, scratched her legs as she hurried to the bus that would inevitably be late

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Joe at ProWritingAid: brilliant.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: We have Joan here. The atmosphere on Mars was cool, with a brisk breeze blowing. Yes, Maureen's alliteration brilliant

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Joe at ProWritingAid: under my feet. I felt the orange moist moss tickle between my toes. All was silent, until behind me I heard a clank of metal

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and felt a whoosh. I turned in a flash and barely met with cold steel.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: It was a miss on my warm flesh.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Standing in front of me was a huge green being of such is hard to explain it had green skin, 2 2. Or is that 4 arms, 2 legs, or is that 4 legs? It spoke to me, but I was not able to understand the spout of loud noises coming from its mouth. Nice, intimidating! I'm I'm quite scared of that creature. Okay, we're gonna do one more before we move on to the next exercise. But please keep sharing, guys.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: This one is from journey.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Satoo ran through the forest, dry leaves and twigs crunching under her feet, brilliant. The smell of greenery and aliveness made her smile as she glanced up at the bright blue of the sky above.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: The cheerful twitter of birdsong filled the air. Lovely sentence! She found what she was looking for in a flash of a million on the edge of her vision the last of this year's tinselberries.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: She picked a handful

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and pop them into her mouth, the sweet, slightly tangy flavor filling her mouth as juice dripped down her chin, brilliant, fantastic uses of description guys.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: These are all really, really strong. And we're engaging all the senses, which is exactly what we want to be doing fantastic work.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So we're going to move on to exercise 2. Now.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: yeah.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: which is sensory transformation. So we have a little bit longer for this 7 min. So I want you to choose a short descriptive passage from your own work, or we can. We can create a new one for this.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: That uses sensory details, and I then rewrite the passage, changing the sensory details to create a different mood or a different atmosphere. For example, if you have a calm scene, we could use our sensory descriptions to change that into an airy scene, or vice versa, from an airy scene into a calm scene. So we want to change the mood of the atmosphere and the scene by using our sensory description here.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay, so I'll start the timer for 7 min, and we'll reconnect. After that I look forward to reading them guys. I'll be reading what we've got already during these 7 min. So please keep them coming.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay, off we go.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay, that was the siren, which means that was the end of the time. Brilliant guys. I've been really, really enjoying reading these passages as they become in the chat, so please keep them. Keep them coming. I'll just go through a couple now for for this exercise before we before we move on.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So we have one. Here she looked the perfect image of a biker girl from yesteryear, wearing an old style crash, helmet.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and sheepskin jacket of the kind a flying ace might have worn.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: She was clutching a bulging canvas knapsack, and there was a big smile on her face. And this has been changed, too.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: She looked the image of a biker girl from yesteryear, wearing

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Joe at ProWritingAid: her old style, crash, helmet, and sheep, sheepskin jacket of the kind of flying ace might have worn. She was touching a bulging canvas knapsack and was panting hurriedly, her eyes darting around the room. Yes, brilliant, completely different. Here

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Joe at ProWritingAid: we have another one here from Betsy. He and I remain kneeling. As the communication communicants filed

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Joe at ProWritingAid: to the front of the church, the cold of the stone began to seep through my clothing into my bones. Incense hung in the air, and candles flickered in the gloom. Fantastic, really, really lovely bit of description there! Time for one more quickly before we move on, because I want to make sure we get through all the exercises in time. So we have one here from Kyla. So the old paragraph she found a safe place to collect her thoughts. In the mining level of the spaceship.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: The space was low, ceilinged, and close, lit by a weird green glow from the glass domes of processing fluid. The rumbling, burbling pipes were warm, and the humid air had a sharp chemical undertone that stung her nose and left a metallic taste in her mouth. Wow! Really strong description brilliant!

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Joe at ProWritingAid: And then the new paragraph. She found herself trapped in the mining level of the spaceship. The ceiling hung low, and the weird, green, glowing domes loomed close on every side.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Pipes rumbled and hissed, the heat rising to surround her. She panted in thick

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Joe at ProWritingAid: in the thick, humid air, the sharp chemical scent stinging her nose and leaving a metallic taste in her mouth. And we have here fascinating, just changing some verbs made it so much more ominous. I agree it's really, really powerful

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Joe at ProWritingAid: just how effective it can be to simply change a few verbs and a few bits of description here, and we can complete, completely change the tone of a scene as well.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So thank you so much for this, guys, we're going to go on to the next one. Now, exercise to exercise 3 even, which is scene enhancement.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So scene enhancement. I want you to identify a pivotal scene in your story that could benefit from enhanced sensory details. And then I want you to rewrite the scene, ensuring to incorporate sensory details for all of our senses, sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch here.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So again, we're going to identify a pivotal scene in our story that we think could maybe benefit from enhanced sensory details. So maybe we focus too much on one sense. For example, I know I'm guilty of focusing purely on sight. And so we want to identify a pivotal scene and then see where we can enhance our sensory details and description. Okay.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: so this is going to be 10 min. I'm going to read through all your brilliant passages, and we're going to check back in in 10 min time. Okay.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: off we go.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay. Fantastic. Thoroughly. Been

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Joe at ProWritingAid: enjoying reading these guys. It's such great, such great writing. It's really inspired me to work on my own stuff as well. In the interest of time I'm gonna move on to the next exercise. Now, just to make sure we get through everything. But please know I am. I am reading them. I'm I'm loving reading them, and I'm sure you're all your writing is inspiring everybody else in the chat as well, just as much as it is me. So please do keep them coming.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay. So for our next exercise.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: exercise 4,

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Joe at ProWritingAid: it's going to be a memory trigger.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So I want you to recall a personal memory that is vivid in sensory detail, and then write a brief scene for your story. Inspired by this memory.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and please be, please ensure to include all 5 senses, and especially for me, I think smell is a really really powerful sense to evoke memory when I think of childhood memories. For some reason I always seem to think

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Joe at ProWritingAid: what it smelled like. Then if I smell that sense again, for example, fresh cut, freshly cut grass reminds me of being being young and playing outside in the summer, for example. So please don't just use one sense. Use all 5 for this one. So we want to recall a personal memory that is vivid in sensory detail. Write a brief scene for our story. Inspired by this memory.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: ensuring to include all 5 senses. We're gonna have 7 min for this one. Guys. Okay, so off we go. I'll see you in 7 min.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Okay? Well done, guys. There's been some absolutely gorgeous bits of description posted in the chat. I've thoroughly loved reading

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Joe at ProWritingAid: all of them as many as I can. So thank you so much for contributing. It's it's been brilliant from from my end, and I hope, you can see the power of sensory description. In changing a scene, in making what could potentially be

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Joe at ProWritingAid: a, a scene which needs needs a bit more description. And turning it into actually one of the stronger bits of description in your story. So thank you so much for all your contributions. I've thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed reading them.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So thank you so much for today. I really really hope you've enjoyed today's session.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: Be sure to mark your calendars for our next 3 sessions. These will be taking place on the 14, th the 21, st and the 28th of August.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: and if you are interested in grading your pro writing aid account, we have a special offer for Nano participants during the month of August, for 25% off your 1st year of prowriting a premium or premium pro and the link to access this discount is on the edit to excellence. Hub page you can also expect to find the replay of this session posted in the Hub later today.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: If you have any questions at all, you can always reach us at hello@prowritingaid.com. So please do send us an email, and you should be able to find the links again in the chat now.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So again. Thank you all so so much for joining. It's been a it's been a wonderful session getting to getting to read all your wonderful descriptions. I hope you guys learned learned a lot from it. And I look forward to seeing all your published works in the future.

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Joe at ProWritingAid: So we're going to leave it there for. Now, guys, thank you so much, and I will see you soon.